sleigh ride...

arabesque...

my prodigy also sells drugs to your honor student...

not completely sure what i'm seeing, either...

hall pass...

...young or old, mickey rourke has always looked and dressed like a lesbian substitute teacher.

slow or fast...if the front door is locked, go around back

full cut, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjkzbCkZEuQ&feature=related

smoke on the water...

...was the first song i learned to play. not quite sure what this piece is called, but she can't play guitar for shit.

sequins...in 2010 and way back when

110 years of it!

best face scenario

file under: everything i love to hate

i know, i know...i really feel like i'm picking on Opening Ceremony:

http://cheesewheelthruyourwindow.blogspot.com/2010/10/dear-opening-ceremony-please-fucking.html

but like the saying goes; "if the shoe fits...".

congrats to OC (yet again) for bringing us a chloe sevigny collaborative fashion assortment, just in time for the year-end "worst of..."-lists...coming in right behind this* irrelevance:

http://www.vogue.co.uk/news/daily/100107-kings-of-leons-fashion-collection-/gallery.aspx

never gets old...

right said sled...

more holiday cheer...

some assembly required...

you can buy yours here:
http://www.houseind.com/objects/accessories/photoletteringblocks

butter teets...

...you've heard of but-her-face?

well, if i had a dollar for every split-tail i liked with freckles...then i'd have $1.

file under: bigger than jesus, cigarettes or implants

Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade...1970?...or 2010?

...i miss old NYC.

satan clause

under where?

gMap, g-spot, G-Star, G's to Gents...

upskirt = day changer.

happy halloweenie, pull some wool...

height club, part deux...

...my masseur comes in 'fun-size', only listens to gangsta rap, but indulges me in a game of twister after completion.

*vodka bottle for scale

dust buster

holy shit! look at this douchebag. barbershop 'stache? really?

sometimes i see a really hot chick in a jaguar. jaguar's are old lady cars, no matter how G'd-up or murdered-out. seems like you need to earn the right on some level to arrive at that, something doesn't fit. when i see some old bird in a nice jag, there is some balance to that.

if you're gonna roll curly-q-brush'stache...you should either be:

A) a really good barber that does excellent straight-razor shaves, or
B) an 18th century pugilist

...and NOT a sidehack 'me-too' blogger that just learned the difference between a brogue from a saddle shoe.

on the POSITIVE side, the bottom of a penis shaft is particularly sensitive during acts of teabag - that little extra tickle on the tulip can be a day-changer.

anatomy of a penis, indeed.

...i f'kn hate 'em.

cats...

...for better, or for worse...

file under: problem solver

use FB for good, not evil...

fun raiser

it's starts out funny, then is kinda sad...

...then is funny, but ultimately ends sad.

file under: "kinda like being raped by a clown"

everything you need to know, you learned by 5...

big. f'kn. air.

wish the DMV would bring this back...

if it back fires, combusts, raises a finger...

...can cause blood - it's good.

the shit starts early...and hopefully stays with you 'til the end.

hang onto it.

i know, i can't figure out why either (?)....

dear opening ceremony, please fucking stop.

look, i LOVE chocolate. i LOVE roast beef. i LOVE donuts.

but i don't want a chocolate roast beef donut!

why is it that nothing can stand on it's own anymore? on it's own merits? because it's good to begin with, as it is - if truly celebrated in its original glory?

people. stop voting with your dollars and buying all the frankenstein'd quadruple collaborations...i'd rather you buy something completely made from scratch, even if THAT sucks - this whole eating off someone else's plate phenomena is getting ridiculous.

retro bike, retro bush...

i wish my girlfriend could skate...

Longboard Girls Crew from Juan Rayos on Vimeo.

safety last, part three...

...cuz i'm more of a 'porn' guy.

Jacques: The Sports Issue Trailer, 'Squash' from Jacques Magazine on Vimeo.

never been much of a sports guy...

JACQUES: The Sports Issue, Trailer 2. from Jacques Magazine on Vimeo.

it may be that your sole purpose in life...

...is merely to serve as a warning to others

sir, would you like the whole can?

...why, "YES! pretty please?"

his-panic...

...so my buddy is on the road in Texas, rolling thru the great coastal city of Galveston. besides the fact that you could get killed over a bag of skittles in that Godforsaken-beyond the thunderdome town, there are amazing scenarios like this lil' gem, above.

looks like this particular ex-con is experiencing muscle atrophy from his days of being in solitary that he has to cop a ride on his girlfriend's scoot on her way to work to cleaning at the La Quinta. (p.s. La Quinta means, "next to IHOP", in spanish).

and i thought i was f'kn lazy...

i see why people wanna believe...

back from yet another vegas tradeshow...

...and here is my Top 5 best things overheard from the week:

5. "...i had to walk him home, i think he was roofied!"

4. "...so what brings you to Project?"

3. "...then, i just undid the belt around my neck and got the fuck outta there!"

2. "...in the event of an emergency, i will be using your ass as a flotation device..."

1. "...that chick? oh, she punched a cop."

i got 99 problems...

safety last, part deux...

...once again, not completely sure what's going on in any of these pics...but give me a ring, you all seem like you might have the right kinda crazy in you.

counter intelligence

...speaking of loads-your-mother-shoulda-swallowed (!), ran into the BIGGEST d-bag last week. think his name was Harley? Farley? Carly? Barley? Barney? fireflys. butterflys. i didn't get any of it.

summertime = funtime

...push yourself outta your comfort-zone...let the homeless man at the bus stop sit on your lap...let a reverend honk your boob...climb a pyr-MAN-mid...attend a freak-parade...make some bad decisions, you deserve it!

screen savor...

...you know who you are.