Tuesday, May 26, 2009

awesome-ness


...before arlen ness started karate chopping, what i consider, modern day refrigerators and slapping 310 rear wheels on them --- that cat was a f'kn ninja in his early years. all respect due today, arlen, we all realize it's costly to keep the dream alive... based on your contributions, i can absolutely overlook the latter 20th century nike air max pumps of custom bike builds you currently crap out. still, i prefer the 70's arlen:

- peep the chop'd & louver'd stabbin' cabin he so rightfully has a boner in front of
- parted, sunkissed locks
- sunoco frames (free with 8 gallons or more of super-unleaded), to hide the bloodshot of last nite's speedball
- rockmount ranchwear cowboy shirt, snap-front for 'easy-access'
- belt buckle that undoubtedly reads: no gas, no grass, no ass...no free rides
- lee bootcut denim
- tony lama snakeskin boots...the only thing he NEVER took off, until sadly about the mid-80's.

rugburn #6,743


this tight 'lil rig HAS to be stalking me...and/or living a parallel life, what with the lucha mask bean bags, thrasher-covered icebox, mounted bull horns & ease of smile as if to say; "i just called my 3 best friends and we're having a bj contest after we shave each other!"

he-man woman haters club...


...the prez, pictured here --- this guy's my hero:

- ... besides the obvious bends in bars & exhaust, coffin-tank and rake
- ink blk rustler jeans
- tie-dye 'legalize it' tee
- lennon circulars
- chippewa steel toe's
- flavor-saver 'stache
- taco cowboy hat to combat helmet hair
- shearling vest

your mom would kick you dad in the nads for being such a femme if this cat rolled up on the family car at a stoplight.

how embarrassing for her...



...same black dress.

hope your memorial weekend was...





...as GREAT as mine. hangin' with friends, camping, dancing, tickle-fighting and bowling a perfect 300 --- life is good!

Friday, May 15, 2009

bumper bully...





...tough to keep a nice car in nyc, the parallel parking is murder. when the bumper bully isn't enough, do like this cat and patchwork a whole escape-from-beyond-the-thunderdome-road-warrior-fuck-you program to keep the saab 900 as 1996 as possible (the tarp on a rainy day is a nice DIY touch)!

Monday, May 4, 2009

have a little class, wrap the gift...




...clearly these strawberry-trick-chickenheads have never heard of the "cuchini", enjoy:


***credit for the 'find' to my #1 bird in the west, A-to-the-R-izz-AY, with an equally demented sense of humor

Friday, May 1, 2009

an "Ah-HA"-moment...




...the friendly housewives manual, Real Simple Magazine. they have this monthly section called 'new uses for old things'...a plethora of 'life made easier' solutions whereby they often enlighten us to an item and offer an add'l multi-purpose use for it not originally intended.

-old underwear = shammy maybe, NOT a bra
-old ipod = recycled parts for refurb maybe, NOT a tankini
-old glow stars from your daughters room = stacked for leveling uneven nightstands maybe, NOT to cover bruises from lapdances in the champagne room

well...somebody shoulda told these hookers!

wonder if kathy bates has a ring too (?)...



...The silver object between her thumb and forefinger is Betony Vernon’s “petting” ring, a ring designed to enhance one of my favorite sex acts: the handjob.

this mag might need some sensitivity training...

when in rome...

el apego de jane...



...i was in an In-N-Out burger recently in barstow (don't ask...) and coulda sworn i saw perry farrell (???)

the evolution will not be televised...



...1920, or 2009 --- why we still have to hide the buuubs?

one of these things, is not like the other???



...c'mon DimePiece, really --- you've NEVER seen this item done by those font foundry heavyweights? in some zipcodes that constitutes a drive-by, in the yard it merits a shiv, in hell's kitchen it results in a dirtnap, but as you ruffnecks quote in your own mission statement about being; "boss bitches dipped in sauce" --- my question is, is that weak-sauce or man-sauce?

streetwear is NOT dead...


...it's just morphed beyond base-heads & blunts to some omniscient-pseudo-politico-appropriated-60's-counter-culture-80's-rehash-pop-generation-newbie-skateboarder-blog-only-informed-french-jeans-apc-wearing-sycophant-cockpunch:



...that STILL can't manage to spell whom they're influenced by correctly (*see frank gehry spelling in "about").

a bunch of perpetratin' former dungeons & dragons detention hall alumni that could never learn how to skateboard or b-boy.

live and let buy...


kneegrowpuhleeeze...

check out too many trends, guy:

- unabomber beard
- tortoise loc's
- japo top-knot, complete with chopstix no less(!!!)
- gingham btn down
- clip-on repp bow-tie 
- 'one sz too big'-regular line woolrich flannel, all double-merched a la american eagle outfitters
- fake yukon packer mackinaw (ph)ilson jkt, also a sz too big for ironic homeless model
- h&m hand-warmer, 'fingerless-style' gloves
- cross-hatch selvedge, thom browne cuffed highwater too short
- purple-hued shaker sox...to undoubtedly pick-up the marroon family in the aforementioned clip-on tie from bradley's catalog clearance
- wingtips, again, the 3rd item too big and incorrectly sz'd

...the only thing we DON'T see in the pic is probably the big chunky biker wallet made of bridle leather attached too a baroque/roccoco silver chrome hearts fuck you chain ripping his right left belt loop from his poorly bartacked jeans.