happy halloweenie, pull some wool...

height club, part deux...

...my masseur comes in 'fun-size', only listens to gangsta rap, but indulges me in a game of twister after completion.

*vodka bottle for scale

dust buster

holy shit! look at this douchebag. barbershop 'stache? really?

sometimes i see a really hot chick in a jaguar. jaguar's are old lady cars, no matter how G'd-up or murdered-out. seems like you need to earn the right on some level to arrive at that, something doesn't fit. when i see some old bird in a nice jag, there is some balance to that.

if you're gonna roll curly-q-brush'stache...you should either be:

A) a really good barber that does excellent straight-razor shaves, or
B) an 18th century pugilist

...and NOT a sidehack 'me-too' blogger that just learned the difference between a brogue from a saddle shoe.

on the POSITIVE side, the bottom of a penis shaft is particularly sensitive during acts of teabag - that little extra tickle on the tulip can be a day-changer.

anatomy of a penis, indeed.

...i f'kn hate 'em.

cats...

...for better, or for worse...

file under: problem solver

use FB for good, not evil...

fun raiser

it's starts out funny, then is kinda sad...

...then is funny, but ultimately ends sad.

file under: "kinda like being raped by a clown"

everything you need to know, you learned by 5...

big. f'kn. air.

wish the DMV would bring this back...

if it back fires, combusts, raises a finger...

...can cause blood - it's good.

the shit starts early...and hopefully stays with you 'til the end.

hang onto it.

i know, i can't figure out why either (?)....

dear opening ceremony, please fucking stop.

look, i LOVE chocolate. i LOVE roast beef. i LOVE donuts.

but i don't want a chocolate roast beef donut!

why is it that nothing can stand on it's own anymore? on it's own merits? because it's good to begin with, as it is - if truly celebrated in its original glory?

people. stop voting with your dollars and buying all the frankenstein'd quadruple collaborations...i'd rather you buy something completely made from scratch, even if THAT sucks - this whole eating off someone else's plate phenomena is getting ridiculous.

retro bike, retro bush...

i wish my girlfriend could skate...

Longboard Girls Crew from Juan Rayos on Vimeo.